Will Moving Save Your Blended Family
Can you successfully blend a family in a non-neutral home? When two families blend often one spouse has a house that would work best for the new family. It may not fit everyone well, but there is room if creativity is applied. The new family saves money and only one part of the family has to move. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it?
It’s not.
HGTV’s Love it or List it, a show with two hosts-one a realtor, David who tries to get the family to move, the other host, Hillary remodels the present home hoping the will love it and stay in the Reunited Family Friction Episode HLILI-606H the situation is more twisted than two families meeting and blending. This husband and wife were married before and bought the house where the wife still lives. That marriage lasted for two years. He moved out and she stayed. They had other spouses and each had a child. Years later, they reunite at a funeral, fall back in love and get married.
Where do they pick to live? Her house, it’s packed with emotions for her and no room for the family. This was a case of (from a couch therapist) of a marriage about to end.
The wife was willing to have the house redone by Hillary. The husband wanted to start over in a new home. Blending a family in this home seems impossible.
Every house David, the co-host showed them wouldn’t do for the wife. It wasn’t her street, she couldn’t see the house where she grew up, and her son wasn’t born there. Nothing pleased her.
I’m not sure how this show ends I lost control of the TV—hey we share one TV and if I had thought about writing this blog post today I would have kept watching!
I do know if the house wasn’t changed enough that everyone could call the present house-home that marriage is going to have a tough time surviving. My hope is they chose the neutral ‘new to them’ home, and are living a wonderful life together.
So what if you’re in a blended family and you’ve found yourself in the other spouse’s home and you can’t move? While not every family has the money to do a reno you can start with painting one room.
Paint? Yes, paint. My theory is when you paint everything has to come off the walls, furniture is moved and items are put away without guilt. It offers the opportunity for using furniture in a different way, hanging of new photos of the new family and perhaps purchasing a cover for the sofa to change the look.
When putting away painting and tchotchkes (knickknacks if you live in the Mid-West!) ask, “Is this important to you? Can we give it away or box it for one of the kids?”
While not the perfect fix that moving would be it this redo will offer one room that belongs to everyone instead of just some.
For more information on blending a home check out We’re Not Blended We’re Pureed a Survivor’s Guide to Blended Families.
