Why Should you Pick Values over Goals?
I love making goals for about two days. Then I hate looking at them written in perfect penmanship, mocking me for what has been left undone and how far I must go to complete them.
The paper sits on my desk with unchecked boxes next to things like clean upstairs closet, clear out old spices, and read all my email. I don’t even know why I write them, they do nothing for my self-esteem whether I do them or not.
A few weeks ago I read Jennifer VanderKlipp’s blog and my shoulders relaxed, breathing became easier and my goal setting has changed. Jennifer wrote about the difference between values and goals. I know Jennifer personally and the things that have occurred in her life would have flung me to the floor in tears, but not her. She’s my hero. She’s on her knees a lot talking to God, but she’s survived. Her story is pretty amazing, hop over and read it then come back. Oh please come back!
After reading her blog I realized I have a similar problem. My goal making has gone awry, it serves no purpose but to frustrate me. I need to be looking at what I value.
Yes, I still have to clean, grocery shop and clean the bathroom. But those aren’t my goals. They’ve never been something I dream about and can’t wait to work on.
I’m making a new list.
What do I value? It’s beginning to look a little like this:
Now I’m starting my days with, “What the most important thing I value today and what am I going to do to strengthen it?”
By choosing a value as my starting place I think I’ll be a happier person, the frustration of not getting to the important things in my life will fall away….or so I hope.
Tell me in the comments if you think this would work for you?
Goals have never done it for me. I once rang someone speaking on goals and expressed that they did not seem to resonate with me. She asked some questions about my life and identified many goals that had been achieved., Whilst I could see the sense in what she had articulated I saw these events more as ‘this is the way, walk ye in it”……..sorry the KJV is the one in my aged head.
So values which guide the steps you take as you walk through the open doors are more likely to be influential than a list of goals.
Goals always seem to hint at the possibility of failure.
A ‘To do’ list is useful and less heavy in emotional content than goals.
I like that statement-“Values which guide the steps you take as you walk through the open doors are more likely to be influential than a list of goals.” Well said!
What a great way to think about your To Do list! I really like it and think it could work for me. Thanks for sharing!
Carrie, I’m glad it could work for you too. Sometimes you need to look to others for a way to get back on track. That’s what Jennifer’s post did for me.
How’s your writing going?